Birdwell Island, New York- A Birdwell Island Homeowners Association (HOA) has declared war on a beloved canine resident: Clifford the Big Red Dog.
The HOA claims that Clifford's massive appetite and equally massive waste output have turned the once-peaceful neighborhood into a biohazard zone. Residents complain of daily "urine floods" and "pungent piles of dog doo" that require the constant attention of a dump truck and bulldozer.
"It's simply unacceptable," fumed a disgruntled HOA board member, who wished to remain anonymous. "We can't have a giant dog leaving piles of doo everywhere. It's bringing down property values! We can’t go outside to get fresh air!”
Emily Elizabeth Howard, Clifford's young owner, is devastated by the HOA's actions. "Clifford is a gentle giant," she insists. "He just wants to play and eat. He has no choice to, you know, go potty."
Her father, Mr. Howard, is equally perplexed. "These people should be thanking Clifford," he said. "Since we moved in, crime in the neighborhood has dropped by 90%. No one wants to mess with a dog that could eat a car."
As the HOA continues its crusade against Clifford, the neighborhood is divided. Some residents support the HOA's stance, citing concerns about hygiene and property values. Others, however, see Clifford as a beloved community member who brings joy and safety to the area.
Only time will tell whether Clifford will be forced to leave his home or if the HOA will be forced to reconsider its canine-centric crusade. In the meantime, one thing is certain: the saga of Clifford the Big Red Dog has captivated the residents of Birdwell Island and sparked a debate about the rights of giant, lovable pets.
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